Doc, says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on Earth for?"
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time.
If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor."
"OK, but it's against my better judgment."
Steve has his operation.
The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his drip stand.
Heading toward him is another patient walking exactly the same way.
"Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."
"Yeah," says the patient, "I finally decided I'd like to be circumcised."
Steve's eyes widen in horror, "Oh no! That's the word!"
There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Vote:
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhi was four years old
What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody's herd.
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so ghetto, her wedding cake was made of cornbread.
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle?
A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
Vote:
My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad.
Ted asked if she was going to use worms.
"No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."
Vote: