There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
What do you find in a clean nose? Fingerprints!
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
I have got a new dog. We have trained together for two months and imagine, after these two months I was able to reach him my paw and managed even barking around on command. My dog can be proud of myself.
Some check under their beds for "Penny Wise the Clown" before to sleep. Penny Wise the Clown checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before going to sleep.
Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.