Best jokes ever

A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
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has 65.60 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: math
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
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has 65.59 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: math
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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has 65.58 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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has 65.57 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, Yo mama
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: new year, time
I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: sport
On a beach a man shouts at another man: Tell your son not to imitate me. A man to his son: Son, stop playing the fool.
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: life
A first-grade teacher can't 
believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl. "It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?" "Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student. "Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a football fan."
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: football, student, teacher
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