Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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has 66.17 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her vibrator went soft.
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children. We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt. When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, "Dad, what's going to happen to us when you die?" My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone. "We'll go in the limousine dummy."
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: death, family, funeral, kids, phone
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
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has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, men, sex, women
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
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has 66.14 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
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