A blind man walks into a bar.
The blind man sits down, thinking he'd break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?"
In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our bartender IS blonde, or bouncer is blond, I'm a 6'4" black belt, the man sitting on the other side of me is 6'2, 250lbs, and a rugby player. The guy sitting next to you is pushing 300, 6'6, and he's a wrestler. We're ALL blond. So you think about it mister, do you really wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man sat for a second, thinking over the odds and then replied "No, not if I have to explain it five times."
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row.
The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?"
"Of course the old woman!"
The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
Yo Momma so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.
Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
A: Dracula's dentist.
Yo mama so round and fat that she makes an eclipse with the sun.
Patient: "Doctor, I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "I understand."
Patient: "Understand what?"
Your mama's so fat she asked for a water bed and we threw a blanket on the ocean.
Vote:
How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) None. Feminists can't change anything.
2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken.
So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal.
"What's the deal?" he asks.
His mom says "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat.
The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
Always be yourself!
Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman