What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
Yo Mama so poor I saw her with one shoe in the garbage can and I said, "Did you lost a shoe." And she said, "Nope I just found one."
The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
A blind man and his dog walks into a bar and the blind man starts swinging hid dog around the barman says, "What are you doing?" A blind man replies, "Nothing I'm just looking around!
Yo' mama is so bald, when she wears a turtleneck it looks like a busted rubber.