Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. "No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.