Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.
Sign at a gay nudist colony: "Gentlemen playing leapfrog are requested to complete their leaps!"
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord and nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
A blonde enters a library. She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola." The librarian says "Ma'am this is library." So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.