Best jokes ever

An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
Vote:
has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
Vote:
has 66.08 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
Vote:
has 66.07 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Vote:
has 66.04 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
Vote:
has 66.04 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex
Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
Vote:
has 66.04 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
What do u call 4 mexicans sinking in quicksand? Quatro,sinko.
Vote:
has 66.04 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: racist
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
Vote:
has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, food, jewish
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote:
has 66.00 % from 411 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, women
<<<462463464465
More jokes →
Page 462 of 1428.