Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Grass is green,
trees are greener.
When I think of you,
I play with my wiener.
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Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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Q: Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes on them?
A: So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian.
There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were.
One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow.
The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee.
The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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What do you call 3 black guys sky diving?
Air pollution.
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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
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Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
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Only Chuck Norris can tell you the answer to your question before you ask it.
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