Best jokes ever

There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: relationship, women
Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Find a sleeping person, fill their hand with shaving cream and then tickle their nose.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: April fools
Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, marriage, time
Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband : Nothing. Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
Vote:
has 64.75 % from 468 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, time, wife
Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
Vote:
has 64.73 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty, single
Your momma is just like a shotgun, give her a cock and she blows.
Vote:
has 64.73 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
One step forward, 12 floors down.
Vote:
has 64.73 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
<<<481482483484
More jokes →
Page 481 of 1431.