Best jokes ever

Doctor: "And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?" Patient: "Very well, I've been divorced for half a year now."
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
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More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
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