Best jokes ever

The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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has 65.29 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 65.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
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has 65.24 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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has 65.24 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: black humor
All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: sex
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 65.22 % from 368 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, disgusting
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
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has 65.22 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
How can you know a lawyer is lying? When he moves his lips.
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has 65.22 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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