Best jokes ever

What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: hipster, technology
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, hipster, work
What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, Hitler, morbid
A husband and wife are having financial troubles. They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash. The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later. She gets in the car and says, "Look, I made $40.50 !" "What jerk gave you 50 cents?" he asks. "All of them!"
Vote:
has 64.77 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, time, wife
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. The retiree replied, "Oh great! NOW you tell me!"
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: game, golf, old people
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: money
I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde
<<<481482483484
More jokes →
Page 481 of 1429.