A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
Yo Mama is so nasty, she made the Dead Sea, when went to swim.
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle.
"Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.
"When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied.
"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.
"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Vote:
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan.
When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
Vote:
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Vote:
Male walks into a bar with a lump of concrete under his arm he says "I'll have a pint of beer and one for the road ".
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."