Q: Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?
A: Because he rode the range.
Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool.
One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying.
A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
“Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman.
Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing.
In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again.
At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves.”
The policeman looks at the old man and says, “You shouldn’t be crying!
You should be the happiest man in the world!”
So the old man says, “I know!
I’m crying because I don’t remember where I live!”
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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