Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
Yo' Mama is so fat, she wears a watch on each arm one for each time zone she's in.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.