When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Your mama so fat when she goes in Walmart and goes out it's gone.