What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts!
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
What do you find in a clean nose? Fingerprints!
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
yo mama so fat, when she dive into the ocean, there is a tsunami warning out!
Yo mama is so skinny... she hula hoops with a cheerio.