Best jokes ever

Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"

Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.

Q: Why did the cowboy get a hot seat? A: Because he rode the range.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo Mama is so nasty, she made the Dead Sea, when went to swim.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.

Got home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning. The wife was waiting at the door with a rolling pin. I said to her, "what are you doing..baking..at this time of the night" ?

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "hey, will you give me a free beer if I show you something amazing you've never seen before?" The bartender says, "sure, but it'd better be good." The man reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He sets the hamster down on the bar, and the hamster runs along the bar, jumps off the end, turns a somersault in midair and lands on the piano. He the proceeds to play the piano beautifully. The bartender says, "Wow! That was incredible! Have a beer." The man finishes his beer and says to the bartender, "hey, if I show you something else amazing that you've never seen before, will you give me another free beer?" "If it's as amazing as the hamster, sure," the bartender replies. So the man reaches back into his coat pocket, and pulls out a frog. He sets the frog down on the bar, and the frog begins to sing beautifully. The bartender is again amazed, and gets the man another beer. As the man is drinking his beer, another man rushes over and says "Holy shit, a singing frog! I'll give you $200 for that frog." The first man says "Deal!" and sells him the frog. The bartender walks over and says, "not that it's my business, but that was a singing frog, for heaven's sake. Why would you sell it for only $200? You could have made millions off of it." The man says, "nah, don't worry. The hamster's also a ventriloquist."

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."