While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
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Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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