Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
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Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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