Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.