How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back.
And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first.
What is the best advice to give a worm?
Sleep late.
As horses say to one another.
Any friend of yours is a palomino!
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Vote:
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out.
Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences.
Then hang up.
What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
Hoe-Down.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her bathroom consists of a tin can and a pile of leaves.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, her wig has a chinstrap.