How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers.
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.
"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.
"I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce.
"I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.
"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
Hoe-Down.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her bathroom consists of a tin can and a pile of leaves.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, her wig has a chinstrap.
Q: What is height of Honesty?
A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
Q: What is height of De-hydration?
A: A cow giving milk powder.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.
What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk.