What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Vote:
What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name.
Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Your mama is so short, she was able to get an job application with the Oompa Loompas!
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
Vote:
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Vote:
What a woman says…
This place is a mess! C’mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You’ll have no clothes to wear if we
don’t do laundry right now!
What a man hears…
blah blah blah blah blah C’MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
Three flies in a trashcan get trapped overnight in a bathroom.
The first fly goes to the sink, the second fly stays in the tub, and the third fly chooses the toilet.
The next morning, all the exhausted flies gather back in the garbage can.
The first fly says, "I'm exhausted! I almost got washed down the drain."
The second fly says, "I almost got squashed by feet in the shower!"
The third fly says, "The toilet was fine until it suddenly got dark.
First, I heard thunder, then it started to rain, and if it weren't for that big brown log, I surely would have drowned."
Vote:
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep.
He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock."
The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet.
"973," says the man.
The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.
Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal."
Man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation."
Man says sure.
"You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd.
"You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."