After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"
The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."
What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
What did Zimbabweans have before candles?
Electricity.
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said "Lobster tails £1".
I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Yo momma so fat that when she was seated in the last row, the plane couldn't get off the ground.
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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