Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom.
The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades.
"Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg?
Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..."
In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
Male walks into a bar with a lump of concrete under his arm he says "I'll have a pint of beer and one for the road ".
I drank so much wine last night that when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.