One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
Vote:
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes.
"Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them.
Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
Vote:
Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like...
Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Yo momma so fat that when she was seated in the last row, the plane couldn't get off the ground.
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
Vote:
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing.
But I mean, 41 years, still alive.
I kinda got it.
Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.