Best jokes ever

Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.
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has 60.28 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? A: He came home shit faced.
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has 60.28 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay, love
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
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has 60.28 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats? A total waste of space!
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has 60.26 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
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has 60.23 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo" At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home" The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
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has 60.23 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 60.21 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
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has 60.21 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
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has 60.18 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
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has 60.18 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, fat, sex, wife, work
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