Best jokes ever

If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
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has 60.97 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, flirt, romantic, Santa
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
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has 60.95 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time
What did one math book say to the other math book? "I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"
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has 60.93 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: math
A Black man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical black baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the proud father of an amazing black baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The father drank the bottle of whisky at one go, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
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has 60.92 % from 504 votes. More jokes about: baby, bar, bartender, black people, wife
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military, women
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: business, Christmas, fart, life
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
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has 60.85 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, old people
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: stupid, weather, Yo mama
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work
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