Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!"
"Don't you mean netsurfing?"
"No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
Vote:
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
"If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?"
The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
Vote:
Q: Why do hipsters love ice?
A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long?
A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
Vote:
Republicans only seem to care about people's health when they haven't been born yet!
Vote:
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
Vote:
How can you tell she's a macho women?
She rolls her own tampons.
How do you make a rabbit fast?
Don't feed it.