Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? He's down to four butts a day.
Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out.
A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.