After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger." When he heard this, the other child started to cry. "Why are you crying?" "I’m here for a urine test."
Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year!
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Three guys are on a plane, ones black, ones white, and ones Mexican. The pilot says: "there's to much weight you all need to throw something off the plane." The black guy throws his Jordan's and says: "we have to many of these in our country" The Mexican throws off his lawn mower and says: "we have to many of these in our country". The white guys throws the Mexican and says: "we have to many of these in our country"