Best jokes ever

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
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has 61.15 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night." Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight." While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move. Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."
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has 61.10 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, sex, women
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
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has 61.10 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, Yo mama
Q: Why are there more black folk then Indians? A: Because we haven't played Cowboys and Black folk yet!
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has 61.09 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: black people
One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
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has 61.09 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: animal, knock-knock
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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has 61.06 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. He asks her what it is. She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. He goes to the kitchen with a big smile on his face, and his mom asks him why he's smiling. He says, "My sister gave me fifty cents for a donut, but I already licked out all the custard!
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has 61.02 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected. He knows the unexpected.
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has 61.01 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: insulting, mother in law
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