When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny.
Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.