Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
Yo Momma so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Which traffic sign allows you to make a U-turn on a highway in Finland? You are approaching the Russian border.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll? He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.