Yo mama so fat, that when she got on the titanic, it sunk right away, and the only reason that this story is different is because the people who've told others about it were scared that she would sit on them.
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
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"I’m in a big trouble!"
"Why is that?"
"I saw a mouse in my house!"
"Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap."
"I don’t have one."
"Well then, buy one."
"Can’t afford one."
"I can give you mine if you want."
"That sounds good."
"All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap."
"I don’t have any cheese."
"Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap."
"I don’t have oil."
"Well, then put only a small piece of bread."
"I don’t have bread."
"Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.
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Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"