Q: What do lipstick and mascara do when they get in a fight?
A: They make up.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she not only got hit with the ugly stick, she must have got lost in an ugly forest.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
What is a cow's favourite TV show?
Dr Moo.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?"
"No."
"Did he hurt the cows?"
"No, he just grazed them."
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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