Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
Vote:
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.
Vote:
Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
Vote:
Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
Vote:
"I’m in a big trouble!"
"Why is that?"
"I saw a mouse in my house!"
"Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap."
"I don’t have one."
"Well then, buy one."
"Can’t afford one."
"I can give you mine if you want."
"That sounds good."
"All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap."
"I don’t have any cheese."
"Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap."
"I don’t have oil."
"Well, then put only a small piece of bread."
"I don’t have bread."
"Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
Q: What do lipstick and mascara do when they get in a fight?
A: They make up.
Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
Vote:
Yo mamma so ugly when she was walking to the bank.
They turned of the security cameras.