Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
God made everyone different he got tired when he made china.
Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
Q: What's the worst part about sex? A: When they wake up!
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Q: Wanna know the biggest lie my dad ever told me? A: I'll be back.
Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am I wearing I said Guess and she said Levis.