Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
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"I’m in a big trouble!"
"Why is that?"
"I saw a mouse in my house!"
"Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap."
"I don’t have one."
"Well then, buy one."
"Can’t afford one."
"I can give you mine if you want."
"That sounds good."
"All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap."
"I don’t have any cheese."
"Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap."
"I don’t have oil."
"Well, then put only a small piece of bread."
"I don’t have bread."
"Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
Q: What do lipstick and mascara do when they get in a fight?
A: They make up.
"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"