Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
Vote:
Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
Vote:
Yo mamma so ugly when she was walking to the bank.
They turned of the security cameras.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she not only got hit with the ugly stick, she must have got lost in an ugly forest.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
What is a cow's favourite TV show?
Dr Moo.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.