Best jokes ever

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.

Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.

Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.

"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"

Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.

Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team’s response times. “Since we installed our new satellite navigation system,” bragged one, “we’ve cut our emergency response time by ten percent.” “Not bad,” the second paramedic commented. “But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we we cut our average time by 20 percent.” “That’s nothing said the third paramedic. “Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we’ve cut our emergency response time in half!”

A man fell out of a tenth-story window. He's lying on the ground with a big crowd around him. A cop walks over and says, "What happened?" The guy says, "I don't know, I just got here."

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.