Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left him.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
You mamas so small she fell of her chair and committed suicide.
When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.