Chuck Norris has a Gmail ID.. it is [email protected]
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.