Joke #2896

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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