What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
Yo Momma has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace!
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin.
I remember my guidance counselor.
The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Shhhhh...
Did you hear that?
Chuck did.
Vote:
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain.
She asks the doctor what he has on sale.
"Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100."
Surprised she asks why the price difference?
"Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"