What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
Yo Momma has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace!
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin.
I remember my guidance counselor.
The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Shhhhh...
Did you hear that?
Chuck did.
Vote:
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.