Best jokes ever

Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: men
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, science
This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!" She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
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has 58.08 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other? A: Nothing. They have never met.
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has 58.06 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 58.06 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
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has 58.01 % from 353 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
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has 58.01 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: car, school, sex
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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has 58.01 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, technology
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