Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?" The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
Chuck Norris needs no further explanation.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.