"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a commentator.
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
If you really want to loosen your pectineus, you should skip the squats and let me stretch them out.
Q: What do you call a family full of cancer patients?
A: Jason Voorhees' relatives.
Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
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Yo mama so ugly Lady Liberty blew her torch out so she wouldn't have to see her.