Yo mama is so fat she has to write an apology letter to Japan.
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Too stupid to understand science? Try religion!
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
Yo mama so fat she was in a parallel universe.