Two drunks are sitting side by side in a bar. One of the drunks goes to the bathroom but neglects to button up his fly when he’s finished. He staggers back to the bar, sits on a bar stool, and his penis flops out on the bartop. The other drunk yells, ‘Snake!’ and hits the penis with a bottle. The first drunk shouts, ‘Hit it again! It just bit me!’
Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it.
Do you know the joke of "no me neither"? No. Me neither.
Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
Charles isn't in charge. Chuck is!
No! You don't have "Bad luck". You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.