Best jokes ever

To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
Vote:
has 58.72 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, redneck
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
Vote:
has 58.72 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
What Liberals & Conservatives Generally Do In Certain Situations If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't` eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
Vote:
has 58.72 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: life
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote:
has 58.72 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
Vote:
has 58.69 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
Vote:
has 58.68 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...
Vote:
has 58.68 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: math
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
Vote:
has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
Vote:
has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work
<<<672673674675
More jokes →
Page 672 of 1427.