Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she took a ladder to a Giants game.
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.