A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
Vote:
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest.
The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!"
The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!"
The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!"
"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute."
The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut."
He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."
Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable?
A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
What do you get when you cross a brassiere with Texas?
Playtex.
What do a tornado and a black person have in common?
It only takes one to ruin a good neighborhood.
A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Chinese guy are riding in a truck.
Who's driving?
Immigration.
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower.
The other 2% have never been to prison.
Vote:
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
Vote:
Are you an elevator?
Cause I wanna go down on you.