Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
Chuck Norris discovered America.
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.