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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
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It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
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Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
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Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
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Chuck Norris discovered America.
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It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
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