Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.