Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean.
The tsunamis were killing people.
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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