Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.