Best jokes ever

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, stupid
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fart, fat, insulting, Yo mama
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: military
Which Women's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 5. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, food, mean, romantic, women
Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it? A: The horse's name is Friday!
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, horse, time
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bible, car, christian, time
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates A: Hugh Hefner.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, viagra, women
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls his mother back. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!" The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
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has 58.67 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
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