Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.