What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Translator.
Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman
Q: What do you call a pot of angry water? A: Boiling mad.
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Yo mama is so short you can see her feet on her passport picture.
COP: "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." LADY: "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.”
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
A nice lady in a short skirt walks up to a police man on the street and says, "I have a problem." The police man asked her what it is, she points to a man across the street and says, "See that man?" The police man replies, "Yes, is he watching you?" She replies, " NO!, that is the problem!"
A guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks: "Hey do you know, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu or any of that sh*t?" Offended the Asian man replies: "What you think that just because I'm asian I know martial arts?" The man replies: "Nah its because you're drinking my f*cking bourbon"