Best jokes ever

It is a normal drill day at the Marine base in Virginia. The whole regiment is lined up in formation, and the colonel is walking around inspecting people. There are rows of marines stacked behind one another waiting to be inspected. The colonel gets to the first squad leader, stands in front of him and punches him in the stomach the hardest he can. After about a minute, the squad leader catches his breath. The colonel bellows, "DID THAT HURT SOLDIER?" Then the soldier says "NO, SIR." The colonel shouts, "WHY NOT?" Then the soldier says, "BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!" The colonel gets up to the second squad leader, stands in front of him, and kicks him in the kneecap. After about a minute when the soldier is finally standing, the colonel hollers, "DID THAT HURT?" The soldier responds, "NO, SIR." And the colonel says "WHY NOT?" Then the soldier shouts, "BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!" The colonel gets up to the third squad leader. He notices that there is an erection between his legs. The colonel takes a stick from the floor, and whacks the erection with it. The man barely makes a sound. The colonel asks him "DID THAT HURT?" And the soldier says "NO, SIR." Then the colonel shouts, "WHY NOT?" Then the soldier points at the man standing behind him and says, "BECASUE IT WAS HIS."
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has 58.42 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: military
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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has 58.38 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fart
Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he was stuck in the chicken.
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has 58.38 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: sex
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
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has 58.35 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
Q: What do you call a baby Mexican? A: A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!
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has 58.32 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: communication, mexican, racist
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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has 58.32 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
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has 58.32 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
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has 58.28 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: car, school, sex
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing? I’m exhausted because of sex. That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
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has 58.27 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why was the picture sent to jail? It was framed.
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: cop
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