You might be a redneck if your mother carries a lug nut wrench for a toothpick.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Chuck Norris has 2 kids.
We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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Why are niggers like sperm?
Only 1 in a Million actually works.
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Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy?
A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
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