Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!
Yo momma so poor... That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Yo momma so poor... The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.