Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? A. The PGA tour
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing? I’m exhausted because of sex. That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber. "Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered. So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate is salad. Happy Easter!
The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language. My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’