Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle? A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
Q: What do you call a big pile of kittens? A: A meowntain.
Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.