Best jokes ever

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
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Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
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What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.
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