Q: How do 5 gay men walk?
A: One Direction!
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
What is the noisiest game?
Squash – because you can’t play it without raising a racquet!
One night, a lady with a black eye stumbled into the police station.
She told the desk sergeant that she had heard a noise in her back yard and gone to investigate.
The next thing she knew, she was hit in the face and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a few minutes later, also with a black eye.
‘Did you get hit by the same attacker?’ his captain asked.
‘No, sir,’ he replied. ‘I stepped on the same rake.’
How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Vote:
‘My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.”
So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money.
It was my grandfather.’
My wife asked if I would give it to her "doggy style."
So I took a dump on the floor and chewed up her shoes.
"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."
Yo Mama so old...
She sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade.