What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Vote:
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan when you're having sex?
A: Let her catch you doing it.
Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
Vote:
Q: How do 5 gay men walk?
A: One Direction!
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars.
Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper.
'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing.
Why?'
'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
What is the noisiest game?
Squash – because you can’t play it without raising a racquet!