Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.