Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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