Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...