Best jokes ever

I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.
Vote:
has 56.81 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: sex
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
Vote:
has 56.81 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other? A: Nothing. They have never met.
Vote:
has 56.81 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Vote:
has 56.81 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, marriage
Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.” Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?” Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?” Tech Support: “Yes.” Customer: “Just great — I knew it! He’s in trouble now! He was there for almost a half hour! How much does AOL charge for long distance?” Tech Support: “It does not work that way. You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.” Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra. It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t. England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.” After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL. A while later she called back. Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites. I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.” Tech Support: “Yes?” Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?” Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.” Customer: “Wonderful! My oldest son works in Sweden. He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone. This will save us lots of money! Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
Vote:
has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, money, phone
Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
Vote:
has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ugly, Yo mama
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
Vote:
has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, fitness, gym
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
Vote:
has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Vote:
has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, fitness, gym, time
They have traced the Gay Gene all the way back to the time of the Dinosaurs. They found two distinct species. They have named them Lickalotapus and Megasoreass.
Vote:
has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dinosaur, gay, history, science, time
<<<726727728729
More jokes →
Page 726 of 1427.