It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town. What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one." "No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough." "No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her." "No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
Yo Momma so fat, she's gotta wake up in sections.
Yo mama so fat that she could use a bra as a parachute
2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.