Best jokes ever

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money, old people, time
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked. "Can you describe it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, geography, stupid, weather
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, food, love, teacher
Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age." Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, husband, wife, women
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
Yo mama is so fat, when she's on an elevator, she has to go down!
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Q: Why do women wear black underwear? A: They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: women
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
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