Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt! 
Q: What do you call a gay drive by?
A: "a fruit roll up."
What do you call a truck full of dildos?
Toys for Twats.
Vote:
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina.
In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.
When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out."
The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50.
After a long pause, the couple agreed.
The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in.
After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?"
The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died?
A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age."
Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is a fact.
Vote:
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.