Best jokes ever

Genuine advert. In New York Newspaper Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannia. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.
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has 56.16 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wife
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream. Q: How do you get them out? A: Chips.
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has 56.13 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
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has 56.13 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, family, redneck, sex
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.
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has 56.13 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
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has 56.10 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: What do you call a gay drive by? A: "a fruit roll up."
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has 56.10 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: gay
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
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has 56.09 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, marriage, sex
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked. "Can you describe it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, geography, stupid, weather
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
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