A professor and a doctor both love the same girl.
Each one tries to get rid of the other.
Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week.
Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there.
When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
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Q: Why do women wear black underwear?
A: They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
"Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
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Chuck Norris is a fact.
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How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms.
"That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk.
"What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde.
"It says one dollar right here on the packaging."
"Tax," replies the clerk.
"Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."