Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas. They made a deal. Chuck now owns the shop.
A man walks into a bar with a alligator. He says to the bartender, ‘Do you serve lawyers here?’ ‘Sure do,’ replies the bartender. ‘Good,’ says the man. ‘Give me a beer, and a lawyer for my ’gator.’
What a cannibal say to its victim? Nice to meat you.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.