Best jokes ever

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that! What's the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is...**I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month!** "
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More jokes about: lawyer
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Yo Momma so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.
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More jokes about: driving, fat, Yo mama
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A couple in their nineties were having trouble remembering things so they went to their doctor for checkups. The doctor told them that they were both physically fine and advised them to write things down to help them remember. Later that evening while watching television, the husband got up from his chair to go to the kitchen for a snack. He asked his wife if she wanted anything. “Could you bring me a bowl of ice cream?” she asked. “Sure,” he replied. “Do you think you should write that down to remember it?” she asked. “No, I can remember that,” he said. “I’d like some strawberries on it, too. Do you need to write that down?” she said. “No, I can remember that, too. Ice cream with strawberries,” he said, becoming a little irritated. “I’d like some whipped cream on it, too. Can you remember all that? The doctor said you should write things down,” she said. “For goodness sakes, I can remember that. I don’t need to write it down. A bowl of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream,” he said, now more than a little irritated. Off he went to the kitchen. About 20 minutes later he returned with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife stared at it for a moment and said, “Where’s my toast?”
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More jokes about: old people
Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drunk
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
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More jokes about: men, sex, women