Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with?
Anything for the family.
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex.
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q: What do you call a gay drive by?
A: "a fruit roll up."
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina.
In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.
When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out."
The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50.
After a long pause, the couple agreed.
The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in.
After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?"
The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died?
A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher said, it was a peace of cake.
A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction.
They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck.
They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’
The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’
So the rabbi gets out some wine.
They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass.
But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink.
Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’
Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’
Is everything expensive or I'm just poor?