Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water...
That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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