Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon.
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Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it.
So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep.
The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake.
"Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?"
William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!"
And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary."
Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question.
"Who died on the cross for our sins?"
William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus Christ!"
Once again, she goes back to sleep.
This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
William pokes her again.
Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times.
He used a parachute twice.
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Q: Why do horny women order at Subway?
A: Footlongs.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
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