Sthi Bash is sitting in a bar drinking some alcohol.
After some couple of drinks he tries to stand up and he falls.
He crawls to the door of the bar and tries to stand up and he falls again, he crawls until he reaches the door in his house and he tries to stand but then for the third time he falls again.
He then decides to knock on the door while he is on the ground.
His wife opens the door and surprised she asks him, "Where the hell did you leave your wheelchair?"
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
Vote:
When customs finds something in your butt, how do you act surprised?
Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass.
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey.
It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away.
So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit.
It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise.
On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock.
One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!"
The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?"
The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?"
The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Yo Momma's so fat that when she sits on the beach, whales swim up to her and sing "We are family…!"
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher.
"What did you make of the new English teacher?"
"Burgers, ma'am."
Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?"
Blonde: "I don't know. Why?"
Teller: "It was easier to spell."
Blonde: "Easier than what?"
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives.
They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.