Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a trampoline? A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
A man calls a lawyer’s office. A voice answers, ‘Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz.’ The man says, ‘Let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’ ‘I’m sorry, he’s on vacation.’ ‘Then let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’ ‘He’s on a big case, not available for a week.’ ‘Then let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’ ‘He’s playing golf today.’ ‘Okay, then, let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’ ‘Speaking.’
Yo' Mama is so nasty, it sounds like Velcro when she takes her panties off.
Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep." Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."
Two halves make a whole. Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Jerry is charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquits him. Later that day Jerry comes back to speak to the judge that tried his case. ‘Your Honour,’ he says. ‘I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.’ ‘Why?’ asks the judge. ‘He won your acquittal. Why do you want to have him arrested?’ Jerry replies, ‘I didn’t have the money to pay his fee, so the bastard went and took the car I stole.’