You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.
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What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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Sthi Bash is sitting in a bar drinking some alcohol.
After some couple of drinks he tries to stand up and he falls.
He crawls to the door of the bar and tries to stand up and he falls again, he crawls until he reaches the door in his house and he tries to stand but then for the third time he falls again.
He then decides to knock on the door while he is on the ground.
His wife opens the door and surprised she asks him, "Where the hell did you leave your wheelchair?"
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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When customs finds something in your butt, how do you act surprised?
Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass.
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey.
It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away.
So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit.
It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise.
On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock.
One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!"
The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?"
The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?"
The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".