Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal. Then he places the bowl.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Chuck Norris always wins at Jenga, the tower couldn't dare to crumble.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.