Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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