Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Why are cows made for dancing? They re all born hoofers.
Yo mama is so small that she plays handball on the curb.
What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.
Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world." Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye." The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!" So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away. He comes back half an hour later and says, "I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye." Now the bartender becomes really skeptical. She says, "I just saw you walk in here you can't be blind!" So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye. The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.
The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.