Best jokes ever

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. "I think I'm the smartest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try. "I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up. "I think..." "POOF!"
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting: "GIVE US YER LOOT!" A: They were both blonds.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, stupid
There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model. Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes. The management apologized and gave her a new car. Again, after half an hour she came back. The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was. She put in the first gear...speed up...put in second...third...fourth...fifth... “And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, management
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax," replies the clerk. "Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, drug, money, tax
What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
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has 56.02 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, little Johnny, teacher
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dating, men
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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