Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
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Yo mama so dumb she used old spice body wash to cook.
You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.
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What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
A 90 year old women goes to the doctor.
Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more.
Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well!
Oh very well , now about your hearing...
Vote:
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!"
Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!