What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
A 90 year old women goes to the doctor.
Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more.
Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well!
Oh very well , now about your hearing...
Vote:
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!"
Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Vote:
Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?"
Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour."
Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."
Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
Vote:
No chicken dies a virgin.
They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Q: What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
A: An e-mergency.
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
Q: Why don't fat people were turtlenecks?
A: Because turtles are now endangered.