In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG