In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Vote:
Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?"
Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour."
Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."
Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
Vote:
No chicken dies a virgin.
They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Sthi Bash is sitting in a bar drinking some alcohol.
After some couple of drinks he tries to stand up and he falls.
He crawls to the door of the bar and tries to stand up and he falls again, he crawls until he reaches the door in his house and he tries to stand but then for the third time he falls again.
He then decides to knock on the door while he is on the ground.
His wife opens the door and surprised she asks him, "Where the hell did you leave your wheelchair?"
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
Vote:
When customs finds something in your butt, how do you act surprised?
Q: What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
A: An e-mergency.
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
Q: Why don't fat people were turtlenecks?
A: Because turtles are now endangered.