Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
Knock knock. Who's there? FBI. FB… We are asking the questions here!
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going. "To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free." The man started packing his bags. "Where are you going?" she asked. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year."
Q: What do you call a white person engulfed in flames? A: A firecracker.
Roses are red violets are blue. I hate poems even more than I hate you.
What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, 1 of them died. The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body. The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver." The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest." The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"
First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."