At the New York Zoo, a little boy felt the urge to feed his banana to a big gorilla there.
His mother didn’t allow it.
The boy started to cry, and made his mother to change her mind.
Proudly, the boy goes near the gorilla with the banana and as he was about to give it away, the gorilla grabbed him and was prepared to eat him.
Crying and shouting, the boy tries to escape, but even his mother stood still in the sight of it.
Suddenly, something sounded like a hum up in the air... It was Superman!
Superman rescued the child!
The crowd relieved applauses.
The Media arrived at that point, and the reporters started interviewing Superman.
"Which newspaper are you from?" Superman asked to one of them.
"New York Times."
"You can ask me now." Superman said.
"Were you scared while saving the kid?"
"Yes, but it doesn’t matter to me. I want to help other human beings, no matter the cost."
To the next reporter: "Which newspaper are you from?
"Herald Tribute. Which are your beliefs about children?"
"I believe that children are the future of our world and that we should, all of us protect them from evil."
The third reporter: "Which newspaper are you from?"
"Risebroker"
(Rizospastis, a Greek newspaper)
"To you, you damned communist, I’m not saying a word!"
Next Day, Newspapers write in their FrontPage:
New York Times – Superman, the abnegation and human sacrifice standard!
Herald Tribute – Superman, the defender and children Savior!
Risebroker – Superman, Propagandist, right winged fascist, deprives food from South-African immigrant!
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen?
Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex?
She locks the car doors.
Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass.
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey.
It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away.
So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit.
It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise.
On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock.
One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!"
The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?"
The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?"
The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Yo Momma's so fat that when she sits on the beach, whales swim up to her and sing "We are family…!"
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher.
"What did you make of the new English teacher?"
"Burgers, ma'am."
Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?"
Blonde: "I don't know. Why?"
Teller: "It was easier to spell."
Blonde: "Easier than what?"
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives.
They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.