Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs? A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
I've trained my dog to bring me red wine. It's a Bordeaux collie.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!