Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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has 55.72 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
It seemed that the son of a Spanish lawyer graduated from college and was considering the future. He went to his father, who had a very large office, and asked if he might be given a desk in the corner where he could observe his father's activities. He could be introduced to his father's clients as a clerk. This way, he could decide on whether or not to become a lawyer. His father thought this to be a splendid idea, and this arrangement was set up immediately. On his son's first day at work, the first client in the morning was a rough-hewn man with calloused hands, in workman's attire, who began the conversation as follows: "Mr. Lawyer, I work for some people named Gonzales who have a ranch on the east side of town. For many years I have tended their crops and animals, including some cows. I have raised, the cows, tended them, fed them, and it has always been my understanding and belief that I was the owner of the cows. Mr. Gonzales died and his son has inherited the farm, and he believes that since the cows were raised on his ranch and fed on his hay, the cows are his. In short, we have a dispute as to the ownership of the cows." The lawyer said, "I have heard enough. I will take your case. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!" After the tenant farmer left, the next client came in. A young, well-dressed man, clearly a member of the landed class. "My name is Gonzales. I own a farm on the east side of the town," he said. "For many years, a tenant farmer has worked for my family tending the crops and animals, including some cows. The cows have been raised on my land and fed on my hay, and I believe that they belong to me, but the tenant farmer believes that since he raised them and cared for them, they are his. In short, we have a dispute over ownership of the cows." "I heard enough. I'll take your case. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!" After the client left, the son came over to his father with a look of concern. "My father, I know nothing of the law, but it seems to me that we have a serious problem regarding these cows." "DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!" said the lawyer. "The cows will be ours!"
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dad, family, lawyer, work
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What do a gang member and a redneck have in common? A: They both know how to throw a good hoe down.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: redneck
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going. "To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free." The man started packing his bags. "Where are you going?" she asked. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year."
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Yo mama
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. "What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?" "No!" said Crumm. "What do you want, then?" "Nothing!" "Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, redneck
Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: women, work
Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fart, god, money
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