Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?
A: Because his wife died.
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Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
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I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped.
Saved myself a fiver.
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What is so good about Chuck Norris?
He is just some stupid actor, if he was really that good he would come here and bash my head on the keyboD5LISDALGFRGY I idyfgylbhyuu2213874rt fsdnljsdha.
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Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says: "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."Well, the first guy is sick and tired of being on the island, so he wishes to go back home. POOF!He disappears. The second one said he, too, is tired of the island and wishes to go home. POOF!He too disappears. The genie then turns to the last guy and asks him what his wish is."Gee," he says," I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here!"
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On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends.
He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped."
A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape.
When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!
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Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
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Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance?
A: A late night.
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