Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.
Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs!
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I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal...
When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Q:Where does a mexican shop for books?
A: Borders
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Why did the semen cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong sock today.
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