Best jokes ever

Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.” Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?” Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?” Tech Support: “Yes.” Customer: “Just great — I knew it! He’s in trouble now! He was there for almost a half hour! How much does AOL charge for long distance?” Tech Support: “It does not work that way. You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.” Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra. It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t. England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.” After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL. A while later she called back. Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites. I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.” Tech Support: “Yes?” Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?” Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.” Customer: “Wonderful! My oldest son works in Sweden. He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone. This will save us lots of money! Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, money, phone
The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful? Beautician: Maybe. Does he still drink a lot?
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beauty, husband, women
Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong? Pupil: I don’t know, nobody I know owns one!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: school
How does a blond spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
A 65 year old blonde has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says “not yet.” A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says “not yet.” Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?” And the mother says, “When the baby cries.” And they ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?” The new mother says, “because I forgot where I put it.”
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, old people
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know. Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says “Here you go” and goes to leave when the forester says “Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?” St. Peter says: “Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before.”
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer, money
Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale it says TO BE CONTINUED...
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Sthi Bash is sitting in a bar drinking some alcohol. After some couple of drinks he tries to stand up and he falls. He crawls to the door of the bar and tries to stand up and he falls again, he crawls until he reaches the door in his house and he tries to stand but then for the third time he falls again. He then decides to knock on the door while he is on the ground. His wife opens the door and surprised she asks him, "Where the hell did you leave your wheelchair?"
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, wife
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