Q: How does a blonde order a root beer? A: Extra large, hold the roots.
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure." Friend: "What do you do?" Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...