Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
Why does Santa have such a big sac?
Because he only cums once a year
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It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle?
A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"
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Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ?
A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!