I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Vote:
A man wakes up after spending 20 years in a coma.
One of the first things he does is ring his stockbroker.
‘Your assets have increased considerably,’ says the stockbroker.
‘The £20,000 you had invested with us is now worth £20 million.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ says the man.
Just then the phone starts bleeping and a recorded voice interrupts, ‘To continue this conversation please insert another £500,000.’
Yo momma’s so ugly, if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow.
A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes
A: So they can tell if they're coming home or going to work.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris...
Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Vote:
Waiter, what is this stuff?
That's bean salad sir.
I know what it's been, but what is it now?
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?