Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.
Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.