Q: Why do Soviet soldiers always miss? A: They have terrible Marxmanship.
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they? A: His left hand and his right hand.
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners? A zipper!
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.