If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?
I married my wife for her money.
And believe me, I’ve earned it.
Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honour.
Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes
A: So they can tell if they're coming home or going to work.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris...
Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Vote:
Waiter, what is this stuff?
That's bean salad sir.
I know what it's been, but what is it now?
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them cause they will never see the light.
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My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!"
I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."
Vote: