When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies, "I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she was asked to leave the OTB.
Yo' Mama is so stanky, even the garbage man won't pick her up.
A man with a bad rash on his hands went to his doctor. The latter examined his hands carefully for sometime and consulted many large volumes on his shelves. Finally, he asked the patient: "Have you had this trouble before?" He answered: "Yes." Doctor said: "You have again got it."
Yo' Mama is so dumb, she got fired from a blow job.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.